Poor Yami Marik
by xxxShadow
Summary: Ah, Yami Marik's having a REALLY bad day... Takes place episode 138, just before the duel.OOC-ness!Contains bits of Ranma1/2 and special guesting Ranma Saotome!BONUS CHAPTER UP!
1. Bad luck

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-gi-oh! Or the bits of Ranma ½ I included!!

_**Poor Yami Marik**_

Battle city

Yami Marik could not believe what was happening. HE WAS LOST! How he got lost was beyond him. Ah, why the hell did he have to get lost just before his duel with the pharaoh! As he wandered around he decided to ask somebody. He came across a certain room; unfortunately he didn't read the label "Women's locker room" and opened the door. Aww,noo…

In the locker room

Meanwhile in the locker room there was a girl changing her shirt. As she took off her shirt she sighed in relief.

'Phew. It's a good thing Tea was able to lend me this shirt after

Sai-chan and Ku-chan accidentally splashed me with water that had temporary spring of the drowned girl powder in it which was really meant for Kaiba.' He had to admit though that when he's a girl his shirt gets too tight in the chest. To make a long story short he had a BIG chest just like Mai but just a bit smaller. (Actually the girl ISN'T a girl. Guess who it is!!) Suddenly Yami Marik opened the door and saw him! No, her.

"ACK!"

"I'm sorry! I didn't see anything I swear!" he aid as he squeezed his eyes shut and slowly closed the door he was stopped when the girl put her foot in so he wouldn't close it.

'Oh,no buster you're not getting away just like that…Not without punishment…' she thought as she got a rock out of nowhere and…

WHACK!

She smashed it into his face and slammed the door but not before dropping it on his foot.

"YEOW!" he screamed as the rock hit his face and fell on his foot.

Once the girl was back inside she quickly put on the shirt and ran out and stepped on his face.

AN/ REVIEW! And next update comes soon.


	2. You pervert!

Chapter 2: You PERVERT!

Once he woke up Yami Marik got up and rubbed his forehead.

"Heh. Women ALWAYS hit so damn fucking hard!" he muttered under his breath.

"Who always hits so damn fucking hard again?" Ishizu said as she came in looking REALLY annoyed at what her little brother said.

"SISTER!" He yelped in surprise.

"You did something. Didn't you? What happened?"

"Nothing."

Unfortunately she had a lie detector.

"false…false…." It dictated.

"Alright, What happened?"

"I walked in on a girl who was topless."

"YOU PERVERT!" Ishizu screamed as she slapped Y.Marik, sending him into a wall, which created a big dent. Then again, she didn't care. Suddenly Yami Marik remembered where the arena was! Aaand he was 20 minutes late too!

_Later at the arena (3 minutes later to be exact)_

"Yami, Ya sure you ain't hot?" Sairi asked Yami as they waited for marik.

"No, I'm not" he said as he unbuttoned on of his jacket buttons which was all buttoned up due to the fact that he was topless underneath. Just then Yami Marik came in.

"You're late." Yami informed him

"That's 'cause I walked in on a topless girl…" Yami Marik muttered under his breath. Yami turned pale. REALLY PALE.

"D-did you just say topless girl?!"

"Why do you care?"

"Just answer me!"

"Yes. I, Marik Ishtar had walked in on A.TOP.LESS.UN.BELIVABLY.SEXY.HOT.TOPLESS.GIRL! Oh, the glory!" He said as struck a dramatic pose. Yami was red now.

"You STUPID BASTARD!" he yelled as he tried to hit him using Sairi's spiked Hammer

"Jeez, why're you so concerned? Unless…"

A moment of silence

Yami Marik gasped.

"She's your GIRLFRIEND?! I'm so jealous! I don't even have one!"

"THAT'S MINE!" Sairi yelled as she hit Yami with a steel mallet.

"Isn't that a delayed reaction, Sai-chan?" Kurohou said as She watched Sairi mallet Yami.

"What the Damn hell!"

"No, You baka! That was ME!" Yami yelled as he slapped Yami Marik in the face.

"How could the girl have been you?"

Just then he opened Yami's jacket up. He was flat-chested.

"See? How could you be the girl?"

Just then Sairi splashed Yami with cold water and he became a girl.

"You're…"

"PERVERT!"

AN/

Please Review


	3. Hi,Ranma!

Disclaimer: People…Sorry to say I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!

Chapter 3: Hi, Ranma!

"You're…"

"PERVERT!"

"…The girl from a few minutes ago!" Y.Marik finished

"You're the bastard pervert who walked in on me!!"

"I don't believe it the pharaoh…is a sex-changing freak just like Ranma Saotome!"

Just then Ranma randomly appeared out of nowhere and gave Y.Marik a hard kick to the head.

"WATCH YOUR MOUTH!"

"Hey, Ranma!" Sairi and Kurohou greeted him when he appeared.

"Hey" he replied.

A moment of awkward silence; crickets are heard in the background

"Hey, Sai-chan can I borrow your new spiked electric mallet?" Yami asked as an idea popped into his head.

"Sure." Sairi replied as she handed him the said object. He grinned evilly and started producing an aura so intense it made all the birds poop all at once!

"AAAAAAHHHHHH! Birdie shit!" Y.Marik screamed as poop was showered on his head.

"Marik…YOU. WILL.PAAAAAY!" Yami Screamed as he lifted the mallet over his head and tried to hit him. He dodged it and took it as the signal to run. Too bad he didn't run _**Fast enough**_ 'cause Yami caught him without breaking a sweat and………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………?

Yami turned to Sairi.

"GIVE ME BACK MY GENDER!"

Sairi rolled her eyes and splashed him with hot water.

"Yeooow!"

Author's note:

Heh. Next update soon. Next chappie is the 2nd to the last one! Or is it? Ah, I dunno I guess not! REVIEW!


	4. Justice or Revenge? You decide

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-gi-oh!

Chapter 4: Justice or revenge? You decide

Yami glared at Sairi. She shrugged.

"Oi, you asked me to turn you back!"

"IT DIDN'T NEED TO BE THAT HOT!"

"Heh, so now that sex-changing freak #1&2 are here; what's next? Kaiba's gonna be #3?" Y.Marik muttered. That earned him a kick to the head from BOTH Yami AND Ranma.

"WATCH YOUR STINKING EFFING PIEHOLE!" they both screamed in unison. Yami Marik took that as the signal to run. Yami chased him with Sairi's electric spiked mallet.

"COME BACK HERE YOU BAAAASTAARRRRD!" he screamed as the chase began.

5 minutes later….

Silence

1 hour after…

Silence.

2 hours after…

"Does anyone want some soda?" Sairi asked Kurohou and Ranma.

"Yeah…sure." They replied as they left to go to a soda machine that has randomly appeared out of nowhere. Suddenly Yami came back with a squirming, black, blue, green, purple, yellow and pink Yami Marik.

"Justice has been served." Yami said as he returned.

"_Are you suuure? Or was that just REVENGE?"_ Ranma, Kurohou and Sairi thought as Yami got himself a soda.

Author's note:

That wasn't very funny…Anyway, PLEASE review!

Special thanks to

_**Unbidden-Angel**_

_**Spidey meets Wizard-Theif **_

And all those who read all the chapters!!

NEXT CHAPTER is a BONUS!

To: Unbidden-Angel

I like your suggestion. But I'll use it in the seqel!!__


	5. Bonus chapter 1:Yami's POV pt1

Tadaaa! Here's the bonus chapter!

Yami: It's my POV through out the whole story! Includes stuff BEFORE the story. AND stuff that wasn't shown.

Sai-chan: When did you get here?!

Yami: Since 2 minutes ago

Sai-chan: fine, let's just do the disclaimer

Yami&Sai-chan: Sai-chan doesn't own Yu-gi-oh!

Bonus chapter 1: Yami

"Kaaaaiiiiiibaaaaa! Prepare to-oops! Sorry Yami!" Sai-chan and Kurohou yelped as they were about to pour water that had temporary spring of the drowned girl on Kaiba; but since he moved it got on me, who was next to him.

"SETO KAIBAAA!" I screamed as I transformed into a girl. He laughed, which angered me.

"YOU BASTARD! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DUEL NOW, YOU ASSHOLE!?"

I screeched as I tried to strangle him. Fortunately he had his guard down so I got him by surprise and grappled him to the floor. Tea came in and her jaw dropped open. Sai-chan and Kurohou explained the situation. She went away only to come back in a few seconds holding a shirt. Suddenly I couldn't breathe.

'_Why can't I breathe?! Dammit!' _I thought as I fell on my knees.

And every thing went black

………………………………………………………………………………………………

I woke up to Sai-chan slapping me on the face. HARD.

"OI! What the hell was that for?!"

"You collapsed, idiot." Suddenly something popped into my head.

"Is Marik here already?!"

"Nope."

"Then why'd you slap me?"

"Well, duh. If he came and you were K.O, he'd be winner by default. I'm sure you'd hate that."

"I would."

"Any way, you better change into this." Sai-chan handed me the shirt Tea brought.

"Why should I?"

"Well, we can't turn you back now. Marik might come any minute and you'd be soaking wet."

"I don't mind getting wet."

"It would take a while to heat up."

"I CAN'T DUEL AS A GIRL!"

"While you change I'll see if I can get some warm water."

"What would be the point of that?"

"Dummy. Do you even know WHY you collapsed in the first place?"

"Come to think of it, I don't."

"You couldn't breathe 'cause your shirt was too tight."

Just then I noticed something. My jacket was buttoned almost to the very top. I unbuttoned 2 of the buttons and I was horrified to see that I WAS BIG CHESTED AS A GIRL! Heck, I wasn't wearing a shirt anymore!

"Where's my shirt?"

"It's with Ku-chan. She put it back in your room."

"Ku-chan?"

"YOU IDIOT! THAT'S WHAT WE'VE BEEN CALLING KUROHOU ALL THIS TIME! AND YET YOU DON'T KNOW THAT THAT'S KUROHOU?!"

I sweat dropped at my own stupidity. D:

"fine, I'll go change. But can you still look for warm water? I don't wanna stay in a girl body for long."

"Whatever." Just then I noticed Kaiba on a stretcher.

"What happened to him?"

"When we took your shirt off he saw you and got a baaad nosebleed."

"HE SAW ME TOPLESS?!"

"What do you think?"

"…"

"GO ALREADY!"

"fine,fine…"

Author's note:

Ah, I decided to split the bonus chappie into 2 so this is the end of part 1 of Yami's POV.

Yami: Why would you want to split it?

Sai-chan: I need to type up updates for my other stories as well as…(collapses)

Yami: Hey! Are you alright?

Sai-chan: …..(swirly eyes)

Yami: Oh, right you're feverish…WAIT! FEVERISH?!

Sai-chan: And…that….is….the….end….of…..part…1…of…the….bonus….chapter…………please….review….

Yami: Review! Are you sure you're ok?

Sai-chan:(snoring)

Yami: sweat drop Ok…so she's asleep.


	6. Yami pt2

Hi, people! Yami and I are baaack!

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!

Chapter 6: Yami pt.2

I made my way to the dressing room. Once I did I took off my shirt.

'Phew, it's a good thing Tea lent me this shirt after Sai-chan and Ku-chan accidentally splashed me with temporary spring of the drowned girl water which was really meant for Kaiba.' I thought as I took it off. Just then the door opened and some pervert that looked a lot like Marik came in. he quickly closed the door saying that he didn't say anything.

Hah, What a LIAR.

'oh,no buster. You're not getting away…not without punishment.' I thought as I got a rock out of nowhere and smashed it into his face. Once I did I dropped it on his foot.

His yelp of pain was heard.

I grabbed my jacket and ran out quickly and stepped on his face.

'I have to get the fuck out of here!' I thought as I quickly put the jacket on and buttoned it all the way to the top and ran back to the stadium where Sai-chan was waiting with some warm water.

Author's note:

I'm splitting the bonuses into 4 so 2 more to go. Please review! I'm splitting the bonuses to lengthen the story for more entertainment to everyone! Dodges rocks and sticks


End file.
